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December 10 , 2009

Bumper Joke Book


Possibly the best joke book in the world, not short jokes, but sophisticated longer jokes for those intelligent enough to be able to read and remember the start of them...

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My BUMper Joke Book

THOUSANDS of jokes, thousands of laughs (we hope!) are contained in this BUMper book. Over half a million keys were pressed to make this book!Over 100,000 words inside! So think of the hard work involved, for the price of a beer!Here's some examples: Vrey irnenesttig!!! Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy,…

Gems include:

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked "Yes sir, may we help you?"
"There's something wrong with my dick." He replied.
The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you." He said.
"We do not use language like that here." She said. "Please go outside and come back in and say that there's something wrong with your ear or whatever."
The man shrugged his shoulders, walked out, waited several minutes and reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear." He stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can't pee out of it." The man replied.

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door.
One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror on my door, make my bust-line forty four".
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened and in minutes they both returned.
This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".
Again, there's a bright flash... and both his legs fall off.

A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on.
One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love and saw that he was using a dildo on her. She says, "Honey, how could you do this! All this time you've never told me. Explain yourself immediately!!"
The husband says "OK, I'll explain, but first you have to explain the kids."

Thousands of laughs inside...

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