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July 24 , 2009

Why The Squirrel Won't Fry


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The Telling Of My Marching Band Story

Ba-aaand! Attention by the numbers!Readyyyyy...ONE! This is the (mostly) true story of one Freshman's experience during "Hell Week" - the time allotted to transform 250 summer-vacation bloated recruits into one of the best college marching bands in the country. It's about Trying. It's about Truth. It's about the perfect length…

Guys who have never been out on a date.

Guys who have never even tried.


That's the question "WHY THE SQUIRREL WON'T FRY" examines. It takes 4 of these guys - 4 distinct vertices of a square labeled "excuses" - and looks at how each has become trapped in his own corner.

Until one of the guys tries to break out of the box.

Here's the logline:

Four enginerds are perfectly content to sit around a luncheonette talking about the girls of "Star Trek", until one decides to boldly go where none of them has gone before: On a date.

Just 4 guys in a room. No gunshots. No paranormal phenomena. No CGI.

No budget.

On purpose. See, the idea was to write the lowest budget movie I could, with the goal of producing it myself. The production part didn't happen, but the writing part did. Minimal characters. Minimal locations.

Maximal (?) humor.

Well, you can be the judge of that. Maybe I was too clever for my own good. It wouldn't be the first time. For example: The original title for this screenplay was "BRAINS"...

...but with the final "S" reversed to hint at a certain irony.

But the real irony is, there was a better title staring me in the face the whole time. I just couldn't see it. Or maybe I was just afraid to take the chance.

I know guys like this.

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