One thing, anyway, I wouldn’t say anything against the scout laws because they are good laws, that’s one sure thing. Even fellows that disobey them have to admit that they are good. If there weren’t any we couldn’t even disobey them, so gee whiz, I’m glad they are in the Handbook. That’s what they are for.
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I don’t mean we want to disobey them. But anyway, this is what I mean, that even fellows that disobey them ought to be glad they are there, because if they weren’t there they couldn’t disobey them. That’s what Pee-wee Harris calls logic. He says he knows a lot about logic, because his uncle has a friend whose brother is a lawyer.
There are twelve of those laws, and the one I like best is law number eight, because it says a scout has to be cheerful and smile a lot. I always smile except when I’m asleep, and I’m not asleep much, because a scout is supposed to be wide awake. When I’m asleep I never disobey any of those laws.
I’ll tell you some more about the scout laws, too, only this isn’t going to be a law book, you can bet. A scout is always supposed to do a given task. His dinner is a given task. He’s supposed to do a good turn every day. Maybe you think those are hard, but they are easy. If a scout in my patrol had some gumdrops and I ate half of them so he wouldn’t get sick, that would be a good turn. See?
A scout is supposed to save life, too. Once I saved Wig Weigand’s life. He nearly died laughing at Pee-wee Harris, and I got there just in time to push the kid off the springboard into the water so he had to stop talking. That’s one thing I’m crazy about. I don’t mean talking, I mean swimming.
Especially a scout is supposed to be observant. That’s one thing about the scouts my sister doesn’t like. She’s crazy about tennis, my sister is; tennis and strawberries. She’s crazy about Harry Donnelle, too; he’s a big fellow. That’s why she doesn’t like it about scouts being observant—I should worry.
But anyway, you needn’t think that scouts are always smiling. Lots of times I laugh, he he, but I’m not happy. That’s because we have a lot of trouble on account of not being able to keep our meeting place in one spot very long. Gee williger, Washington had a lot of headquarters and we only have one headquarters, but we have our headquarters in as many places as he did. Gee, there are a lot of people that have to move these days, but they don’t have to move the houses they live in, that’s one good thing. When you have to take your house with you, that’s no fun. Housing problems are bad enough, and transportation problems are bad enough. And besides, I hate problems anyway, especially in arithmetic. But, gee whiz, when you get a housing problem and a transportation problem all rolled into one-good night!