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November 26 , 2010

Confessions of an Angry Dwarf

A Dwarven Guide to Dwarfdom


Note: 2nd edition. Professionally edited by David "Blazing Beard" Gatewood, Thane of the Stonescribe clan

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Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology

Note: 2nd edition.  Professionally edited by David Gatewood, Post-Technological MetamagicianAre you a Gnome?   Do you want to be one?   Do you know what one is?   Do you have magical, technical, or any other talent whatsoever? (1)   Do you pine after a…

Just because you're short, crotchety, seldom bathe, like to drink, and have a beard doesn't make you a Dwarf. (1)
To see how much you differ from the typical (2) Dwarf, you have but to read Confessions of an Angry Dwarf. If you still think you're a Dwarf after reading this concise guide to Dwarfdom, then you will not be the only one full of surprise.
Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will correct (3) any (4) misperceptions you may have about the ancient and noble traditions of Dwarfdom.
If you're a bit more certain about your identity but have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (5,6), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited.
With enlightening chapters such as All that Glimmers Might be Gold, Allies and Whether ta Tolerate 'Em, When NOT ta Wear Full Plate, Tha Fine Art o' Belchin', Grabbin' tha Dragon by tha Horns, When Yer Beard Catches Fire, On Learnin' ta Growl, One Good Thumpin' Deserves Another and On Never Conformin' ta Expectation, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf delivers a veritable treasure trove of almost useful information on realizing one's potential as a Dwarf.
If, on the assuredly remote possibility you still maintain some interest in Dwarves, then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your irrefutably refutable guide to Dwarfdom and Dwarven endeavor. (7)
Observations from a talking axe:
   1. These qualities will generally draw comparisons to things other than Dwarves.
   2. Or atypical in the case of Urdaen "Flamebeard" Doomhammer.
   3. More likely further.
   4. Or many.
   5. Such as it is.
   6. Brave soul that you are.
   7. Now go grab your axe, don your armor, and start reading!

From the Author:

The EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist (even if we may want for them to... or not).  


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