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February 08 , 2008

The Pizza Guys - Welcome to the End of the World

Tales of Horror, #3


Graphic violence - 17+

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By the by.Did you know that a human’s mouth will continue to move even after the head is mostly separated from the body?Little known fact.Now you finally have something to say at the Christmas party to the girl you’ve been eyeing since the 4th of July barbeque.“Hey sweetie,” you’ll say ‘cause you’re smooth like that, “nice fleece.Did you know that after near decapitation a human’s mouth will continue to flex for several minutes?Wanna go into the back and pretend that you’re nearly decapitated?” 

You’re welcome.

“He’s just tryin’ to cope like the rest of us,” continues the default manager.“Cut him a break.”

“Thanks for that, Pizza Guy, but I’ve known Scott his whole life and if you don’t give him a good whack in the ear now and then he’ll run all over and pee on the rug.Ain’t that right, Scott?”

“What?” Scott replies, honestly not having heard any of this.

“See?” I say, gesturing at my friend.

The banging on the front door makes us all jump.It’s not the first time, but it thoroughly messes with us all the same.The doors are reinforced with the security gate that an employee lowered after the zombie who had eaten the old manager got up and tried to bash into the lobby through the glass door.The gate keeps the zombies out, but the caging effect is starting to get to each of us.Nothing like feeling trapped while the world is burning down around you.

“Why couldn’t we be at the bar, again?” Scott asks.

And even though it is the ninetieth time he has asked, I finally say, “I know, buddy.I sure could go for a pint right about now.”

One of the patrons asks if there is any other way out.He’s thinking what the rest of us are: We can’t stay here forever. 

“Not really,” a female employee answers.“This is the only door, but there is a fire escape on the roof.”

“The roof?” I ask, intrigued.“Can we go up?Can you show us?”

“I…” she begins, looking at her manager with an uncertain expression, who just shrugs at her. 

“Sure, I guess.”

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