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October 10 , 2010

To Have and To Hold

A Personal Handbook for Building a Strong Marriage and Preventing Affairs


From the author of The Monogamy Myth, an essential guide written specifically for married couples to strengthen their relationship and prevent affairs.

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Based on Peggy Vaughan's 30 years of work with married couples and the issue of affairs, this new handbook challenges the assumption that monogamy can be taken for granted, and provides the tools for building a strong marriage and preventing affairs.

Explaining the need to focus on preventing affairs before there is any threat to a marriage, she draws on her survey of 755 people regarding their beliefs to present "What Won't Work" and "What Will Work" to prevent affairs.

Throughout To Have and to Hold, Vaughan details specific strategies and techniques, emphasizing that:

  • Relying on attitudes and beliefs is not sufficient to maintain a monogamous relationship over a lifetime.
  • Focusing on actions and behaviors is far more significant to strengthen a relationship.
  • Responsible honesty is the single most important factor in preventing affairs.
  • Everybody (society as a whole) plays a role in supporting couples' efforts to maintain monogamy.
  • Parents have a special responsibility to break the pattern for future generations.

Four appendices present Vaughan's survey questionnaire along with detailed breakdowns of responses.

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