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April 22 , 2010

Quicklet on Gary D. Chapman's The 5 Love Languages (CliffNotes-like Summary)


Love is a many splendored thing, or so the saying goes. But in today’s fast-paced and often stressful world, too many couples become distracted from the essence of romance and the attraction that initially drew them to each other. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts is a modern-day guide to sustaining loving, caring relationships amid the common causes of love loss and disinterest. A long-time marriage counselor, Chapman provides noteworthy insights on how to get through difficult times in a relationship and emerge closer than ever, secure in the realization that understanding your partner and in turn knowing how to communicate effectively with him or her is the key to a lasting, vibrant romance.

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“After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a ‘love language, a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own...The Five Love Languages has helped countless couples identify practical and powerful ways to express love, simply by using the appropriate love language.” (, About the Book)

Similar to the advantages of being multilingual in a multicultural society, familiarity with the differing ways of expressing and interpreting love will yield considerable benefits in the form of strong, happy relationships characterized by understanding and unconditional love. The word “love” in and of itself is such a pervasive term in everyday language, it lends itself to confusion and misinterpretation. “The purpose of this book is not to eliminate all confusion surrounding the word love, but to focus on that kind of love that is essential to our emotional health,” Chapman wrote. The need for emotional love and acceptance, as opposed to material or sexual, is the driving force for the bulk of human behaviors and a person’s overall state of mind. A person who feels unfulfilled in this respect is sure to encounter severe distress and pain throughout their lives.

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