Watching my ma crumple into the absurd vortex that is dementia, meant I spent a lot of time sitting by her bed as she-often drug induced – dreamt and jolted in and out of consciousness. As an expat Canadian, I was only able to see my old girl during the December and June breaks from the school where I work. So I was weighted by a strange guilt (of course beyond my control) and I was also afforded these intense six-month snapshots of Ma as she slid further and further towards her painful death. Always trying to make sense out of our absurd existence, Ma gave me much to think about. Existentialism, Absurdity, Euthanasia – words Ma would never have used while fully functioning, were words she brought to life through her lingering death. This small book is my attempt to honor what was her death and to make some sense of her disease.
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