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October 05 , 2010

Golden Calf Morality


Isaiah Manley Wright has been a fundamentalist evangelical televangelist for the last forty years, waging wars against integration, the “communist” threat, women working for a living, homosexuals, abortion rights, evolution and practically every “evil” that he perceives as threatening his holy lifestyle or that will make a quick buck. His sermons are cut short, however, in the middle of a crusade fighting the sin of the working woman, when he suffers a massive heart attack and stroke. He is taken to Saint Ignominious Hospital, a hospital he built in order to take advantage of Medi-Care and to provide an abortion free environment for his congregation. When he is wheeled into the hospital, he is completely paralyzed, but he can hear every word everyone says in the hospital. When two of his sons, John and Paul, and his wife, Peeper, arrive at the hospital, he is suddenly frightened. They won’t let the doctors operate, citing passages that he has used in the past. Isaiah is outraged, but helpless. A series of out of body experiences allows Isaiah to see the effects of his ministry.

During his stay in the hospital, his wife and sons recall his life in a series of sermons. In each of these sermons,Isaiah is taken to an event that happened as a result of his venom. It isn’t a pretty sight for Isaiah.

Then, Isaiah begans to see John and Paul. Their main concern is which one of them will inherit his massive mailing list and television programs. He appears to them as a beggar and they ridicule him.He wakes up for a moment, has a couple of lucid moments, then lapses back into a coma. When his third son, Peter, enters the room and announces that he is gay, Isaiah dies.

Isaiah has finally made it. He has finally crossed the threshold to heaven. But, something is not right. He’s certainly dead, but there are no golden streets, no pearly gates. When he sees a huge red headed man with a sword gnawing on a leg of pork, he knows he’s come to the wrong place!

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