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May 18 , 2008

Cheap Throat

Diary of a Locked-Out Hockey Player


Adapted from the breakthrough web series originally published at The Barnstormer.

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A labour dispute threatens to cancel an entire season of professional hockey, laying off thousands of stadium workers and leaving hundreds of players with way too much time on their hands. One of the latter, assuming the nom de plume of Cheap Throat, decides to spend his days filling a diary.

At first, Cheap Throat’s journal entries seem nothing more than the musings of a millionaire athlete man-child, concerned only with staying in shape, playing video games, and taking shots at his colleagues. As the lockout progresses and the season seems less and less likely, however, Cheap Throat finds himself faced with the prospect of a life off the ice. As he ventures out into the world, he is denied the privilege bestowed him by the sport; his locker-room wisdom and attitudes - all of it crass, much of it old-fashioned, some of it downright horrific - suddenly grates against a society that doesn't necessarily need him. Bereft of purpose, Cheap Throat hurls himself out onto the road – like a Sal Paradise in CCMs – to find a new reason for being.

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