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May 29 , 2008

So, What's Your Proposal?

Shifting High-Conflict People from Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds


Blame abounds! People confront us at work, the store, and online. Nerves get on edge. We get stuck blaming others for anything that goes wrong. With high-conflict people increasing in society, the twenty-four-hour news cycle, and social media, we hear constantly about the worst behavior. The temptation is to react and blame. Instead, consider using the simple methods taught in this book for getting them out of the past and away from blaming everyone else. Get them to quickly focus on the future, take responsibility, and contribute to finding solutions to problems—including those they created themselves. When people complain and blame you, you don‘t need to defend yourself or respond with anger. Just calmly say: ―So, what‘s your proposal?‖ and focus on teaching the simple three-step method explained in this book. This method will help you stay calm and confident, while earning the respect of those around you—even those who want to blame you! And blame is abundant these days! Every day dozens—if not hundreds—of people confront us at work, at the store, in our communities, and online. Nerves get on edge. Look around; more and more people seem to blame others for anything that goes wrong in their lives. With high-conflict people increasing in society, with the 24-hour news cycle, and with Twitter, Facebook, and the Internet, we are constantly barraged with stories about the worst behavior of people and a plethora of terrible incidents every day. The strong temptation is to react and deflect blame back on them. However, this just feeds the problem. This book lays out a simple, proven method to shift the conversation from the past and blame, to the future and problem solving. The method is extremely effective; we have seen it work over and over again—many times in just 30 seconds. What‘s more, almost anyone can use it—it just takes practice, and this book offer lots of examples to help you get started.
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