I discovered the following manuscript, plus two others, on the hard-drive of a, particularly cheap and nasty, late 1980’s computer, which I recently found in the loft-space of the house I have been renovating. Delighted to find an effective distraction from the seemingly endless wallpaper removal, plastering and painting, I read it in one sitting. This is the memoir of a troublesome teen, keen to become the biggest fish in his school by any means necessary. I laughed out loud many times, was hooked by the will they/won’t they romance and instantly decided to share it.
Some of the more trivial entries have been edited and I have polished the prose. Places, streets and institutions have all been renamed, as have all the characters, all with the exception of our narrator, who, I hope, will forever remain X.
Whether it is real or imagined, I cannot say, however, I’d like to think that it sits somewhere in the vast, strange hinterland between those two states.
For those of you with a sensitive disposition, I would like to politely warn you in advance that the text is occasionally enlivened by words which rhyme with duck, sock and mat. Also, references to the act of love and its close relations are not infrequent.
Someone or other once wrote, “Impropriety is the soul of wit,” and such is the case with this tale of incessant misbehaviour and young love.
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