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March 31 , 2010

My BUMper Joke Book


THOUSANDS of jokes, thousands of laughs (we hope!) are contained in this BUMper book.

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The Best Movie Jokes

The best movie-related jokes, hundreds of them divided into collections to keep you entertained! Jokes such as: Does anyone think the demon in Paranormal Activity 4 is just Harry Potter putting his invisibility cloak to good use? There's a new movie called 'Impotence' coming out soon. I really want to see it, but I…

Over half a million keys were pressed to make this book!Over 100,000 words inside!

So think of the hard work involved, for the price of a beer!Here's some examples:

Vrey irnenesttig!!! Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

A blonde tried to light her cigarette. She struck the first match on the seat of her pants, but it wouldn't light. She tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. She lit her cigarette and carefully blew the match out and put it in her pocket.
A guy next to her said "What for did you put that match in your pocket?"
The blonde replied "That's a good match. I'll use it again later."

A blonde sees lot of guys running on the highway and asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing. The bystander says "A Marathon race is going on".
The blonde replies "What do they get from that?"
The bystander said "The winner will get a prize".
The blonde said "Then why are the others running?"

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."
The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."
The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

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