If you have the patience, and like long jokes, this book is full of ones that take around 90 seconds each to read. So if you're good at remembering jokes, and telling jokes at parties, then this book is for you. It is full of the world's best long jokes.
Read alsoMy BUMper Joke Book
THOUSANDS of jokes, thousands of laughs (we hope!) are contained in this BUMper book. Over half a million keys were pressed to make this book!Over 100,000 words inside! So think of the hard work involved, for the price of a beer!Here's some examples: Vrey irnenesttig!!! Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy,…
Three random examples are:
A blonde called Tracey appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire... Regis: "Tracey, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left. The next question will give you the million dollars if you get it right... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000,are you ready?"
Tracey: "Sure I'll have a go."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it... A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember, Tracey, it's worth one million dollars."
Tracey: "It's a cuckoo."
Regis: "You're sure? You can walk with the $500,000 or play on for the million."
Tracey: "I want to play, I'll go with C - Cuckoo."
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Tracey: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Regis: "Tracey.....you had $500,000 and you said C -Cuckoo. Well...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Tracey."
That night Tracey calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink. As they are sipping their champagne. Carol turns to Tracey and asks, "Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"
"It was so simple," Tracey replied, "Everybody knows that cuckoos live in clocks."
Several men are sat around a locker room of a private gym after exercising. Suddenly a cellphone on a bench rings. A men picks it up, and had the following conversation:
- "Honey, it's me. Are you at that club?"
- "Umm, yes."
- "Great! I'm at the mall just two blocks from where you are, and I just saw this beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely beautiful! Can I buy it, please?"
- "What's the price?"
- "Only $25,000.00."
- "Well, okay, go ahead and buy it, if you like it that much."
- "Ahhh thanks sweetie, I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the brand new 2013 models. I saw one I really liked and spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price, and since we really need to exchange our BMW that we bought last year.."
- "What price did he quote for it?"
- "Only $50,000..."
- "Well, okay, but for that price I want that Merc with all the options."
- "Great! But before we hang up, just one more thing..."
- "What's that sweet?"
- "Now this might look a little too much, but I was reconciling your bank account and, well, I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw that house we looked at last year. It's on sale again! Remember? The one with a pool, ten bedrooms, beach front property..."
- "So tell me, how much are they asking?"
- "Only $950,000 - a super low price, and I saw we have that much in the bank to cover..."
- "Well, go ahead and buy it, but just bid $920,000 okay?"
- "Yes, baby...Thank you! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
- "Bye... I do too..."