We have a saying. You're either dead and chompin' or alive and hidin'." In Snareville, neither is an option. Lemme tell you big city folks a story... You think you knew all about us small-town folk, didn't you? Laughed at us bushwhackers, your poor country cousins out in the sticks. That all changed when Z-Day came. That was when we realised that growing up in a small town gave us an advantage you folks didn't have. Small towns are easier to defend - from the zombies, if not the other enemies... Of course, our survival has a price. Hell, what doesn't? The story I'm gonna tell you will shock you, may even terrify you. Yep, I've got two wives, I got more guns under my command than you can ever dream about. We got a whole new system of justice and morality that may jar with some of you liberal types - just ask the rapist who we sent packing... But lemme tell you...in a world where folk we thought of as human can pimp out zombies as hookers, you know morality has taken a back seat. This is my story. The story of a small town and how we prevailed. Against the zombies and a far worse enemy. The story of me and my Raiders: Pepper, Catfish, Tony, Jinks, Star...and Jen. Read it. And then you'll know why they call me Captain Death. Welcome to Snareville."
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